Wash away my pain
by Ahai
Summary: Levi has to wash the scientist as she again has delayed bathing after a long time. It somehow backfires to old memories for him.


"Shitty glasses, where the hell are you?!" Levi cried out.

How long has it been this time since this shitty woman bathed? It has been a long time since Levi at all saw her, she has probably been busy with her titan experiments. How she managed to do those things for a long time without eating and sleeping was beyond him. If she would not do those things, then she could the very least spend a little of her time washing herself. Rooms were not the only things Levi wanted to clean, to him having clean people with and around him was a must. To that, Hanji was the fish on land.

Levi looked eveywhere without finding her. Walking around in the hallway wondering where to go next , he then heard some mumbling inside a closet. What the...?

"Of all places.." Levi sighed and barged up the door.

She was there. In the middle of this stuffed, dark and filthy hallway closet she sat in the middle of the floor reading a book intensely. Hanji did not even react at the lange slam from the door, neither at the light suddenly arriving. Levi glared down at her, like a father being ignored by his child as he said its bedtime.

"Shitty glasses" Levi said.

Hanji did not react right away, some seconds later her look randomly went to the now wide open door where Levi stood.

"Oh, hey there shorty!" Hanji said in a cheerful surprise "Something you want? Are we going on a titan expedition?"

Her breathing was getting uneven, exictement was clearly rising within her. Levi`s features remained the same; grumpy.

"No, we are not going to go on any fucking expedition and yes, there is something I want: You and your shitty ass out of the closet" He said.

Hanji did not get up, her look went down to the book again. Levi lost his patience. He grabbed her arm and practically threw her out of the closet. He slammed the door shut so the door hinges almost flew off.

"I do not know why you were in there, neither do I care. You smell and look like shit, when was the last time you bathed?" Levi said in a stern tone.

Hanji hummed and tried to remember. After a couple of minutes, she shrugged.

"Don`t know shorty, I have had my mind on other things. Oh, and right now I was just reading-"

"Don`t care!" Levi put up a hand in the air.

Levi grabbed her wrist and dragged her with him as she was babling about what she was reading and what she was planning to do. Levi rolled him eyes and sighted because of this four eyed woman who did not know when to shut up. But he did not give up despite how annoying this was, shitty glasses was going to get cleaned up no matter what.

Levi dragged Hanji all the way to a bathroom. In this bathroom there were some toilet stalls, some showerstalls and only one bathtub. The bathrooms around the places soldiers were staying had very few tubs. People rarely had the time to take a bath, most of the soldiers only took a few minutes in the showers to keep themselves clean as fast as possible.

Levi turned on the water to fill up this single bathtub and added some liquid soap.

"Any specific reason to chose the tub, Levi?" Hanji asked.

" _So I can drown you in your own shit_ " Levi mumbled.

"What?"

Levi cleared his throat.

"Holy Maria knows how long you have been dirty... You need to take your time to clean off your filth, shitty glasses" Levi said.

Hanji smirked.

"Hmm..I don`t know if I can get in the bath when you are here, shorty..."

Levi took off his jacket and started to undo his harnessess. Hanji`s eyes widened.

"What are you doing?!"

Levi finished undressing and now stood in front of Hanji in his birthday suit. He had a well muscled body for a man being so short, a well developed body with marks from the harnessess. Hanji looked like as she was to explode. What was she to feel now and then? Levi just stood there as if nothing had happened, he did not show any need feel ashamed or any need to cover up. It also looked like Hanji enjoyed the view...

"I don`t trust leaving you alone here, you might not even know how to clean yourself since you rarely do it. I might as well join you in the bath, four-eyes.

Levi turned off the running water. The bathtub was now filled with water of comfortable and relaxing heat and bubbles with the aroma of flowers.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Undress four eyes!" Levi said.

Hanji just stood still for a moment. It was like she was turned to stone, no movement were made and no responses came from her. Levi took a few steps towards her.

"Want me to rip your clothes off instead?" His tone was slightly low.

With that a blush appeared on her cheeks and then she slowly started to undress. Levi did not stare in excitement like how many of most male soldiers did when seeing a woman in skimpy, or without, clothes. He looked at the water in the tub with a emotionless, but also with a lost, look.

Despite being overly eager, exited and passionate at what Hanji usually did, she was not so bold at showing nudity. Her body language was not open like how it usually was, but she was not desperate to cover up either. One arm across her chest showing, slighly one of her breasts showing and the rest completely bare.

"

After entering the bath, Hanji went back being her usual eccentric self. She did not sit still and she was splashing the water like a toddler. Levi did not bother telling her to stop it, he was focused doing his task: Washing shitty glasses.

"Gee, Levi. You really take cleaning seriously, don`t you?"

Levi washed Hanji`s hair with skilled finger techniques, not leaving any spot unshampooed. He did not use great force doing what he was doing, he was gentler doing this compared to what he did to the titans.

After cleaning Hanji from top to toe, Levi decided to wash himself now that he already was in a bath. He was about to pick up the shampoo, but Hanji quickly picked up the bottle before he even had the chance to move.

"How about I try to wash you, Levi?" Hanji asked.

"Shitty glasses... Haven`t you noticed what I just did for you?" Levi never expected her to be willing to do something she barely ever did and sucked at.

"I am not shitty glasses now" Hanji pointed at her eyes, lacking her glasses.

"Come on now, you know that I am always willing to try out something new. I want to try washing someone else, let`s just say you intrigued a curiousity. Besides, it will be fair returning the favor, don`t you think?"

She would never be nearby as good as Levi, but he took a moment of consideration. He was very serious about hygiene, the thought of someone else doing it FOR him was too unusual to even think off. Hanji did take the things she was doing seriously too, as she was willing to postpone basic physical needs to get them done... Whether she would be able to this seriously as well, Levi did not know. Those thoughts left him curious. It would not hurt to let her try, would it? Levi could always take care of his cleaning afterwards if she messed up...

"Fine..." Levi said as he rose up his chest, telling her with body language "I am ready".

Levi regretted his choice. As Hanji was about to pour some shampoo in her hands, she lost the bottle in the bathwater. Levi reacted quickly and rescued the shampoo from being diluted, like a lifeguard saving a toddler from drowning. She managed to to get some shampoo in her hands the second time and put it safely away from the bathwater afterwards. She started to wash his frontal part of his hair. Hanji was too rough with what she was doing, she tugged his hair so hard that hairstrands were ripped off and the shampoo ran down to his eyes. Levi screamed.

"For fuck sake, Hanji! I am not some titan for you to experiment on!"

Levi splashed the bathwater to his eyes. You were supposed to use clear water when rinsing the eyes, but Levi acted with a reflex to use whatever was nearest. The pain in his eyes faded slightly away and he stopped splashing water to his eyes. Levi looked angry at Hanji with bloodshot sclera.

"I think I must practise on that a bit more..." Hanji randomly said.

"You think?! You can forget trying it again on me!" Levi yelled.

Hanji put her hand to the bathtub bottom, rotating her arm around searching for something. She put her hand back up with a loofah in her hand.

"How about I try something else? Let me try scrubbing your body, Levi!"

Hanji did not wait for an answer, she immediately started scrubbing Levi`s torso before he had the chance to say anything.

Levi was about to shout out a no, but Hanji actually managed to do the scrubbing fine. Someone else scrubbing your body was different than scrubbing yourself, it felt good and relaxing. After Hanji applied some soap while scrubbing, Levi felt more at ease and getting cleansed.

The atmosphere was tranquil, the only sounds to be heared were the scrubbing on Levi`s body. Hanji became concentrated at what she did, she said nothing else but scrubbing. Levi did not do or say anything as an appreciation, he was getting lost within himself as he was getting lulled deeply in his thoughts.

"

 _A child sat on the floor, bare and wet. The surroundings were filthy and disgusting, much to the pleasure for the rats whizzing around the floor near the holed walls. The child felt scared and cold, he wished to not live in these circumstances of poverty and starvation. His bare body clearly showed most of his bones if his face did not show enough. A bony, but warm hand rubbed his body. This hand belonged to his most important and beloved person. The person who worked hard for them to remain on this thin tread they already were living on, the person who worked hard despite being exhausted and hurt, the person who sacrificed everything in order to make the child satisfied. Making someone satisfied with the life the two of them were living was hard, but the child was happy just being near this person. The child was shivering out of cold despite this person tried to rub him warmer, now with both hands._

 _"I am so cold, mama. Why you have to do this?" The child asked._

 _"I know the water is cold ,and I am sorry for making you freeze, but I have to bathe you and keep you clean or else you will be sick"_

 _His mother was also very thin and filthy. Dirt were on her like bugs to the light, her face had cuts turning to infected escar. Her face also had many bruises, so did her arms and the area around her boned clavicle. He reached out to touch his mother`s face._

 _"Won`t you bathe too, mama? I can wash away this dark dirt on you"_

 _The woman chuckled and took his hand he used to touch her cuts and bruises._

 _"You can`t wash away this dirt with water, Levi. Only the body can make it go away"_

 _"Why is your body taking so long? I have seen this dirt on your face for weeks, mama" Levi sounded worried._

 _She patted the hand she was holding dearly. A forced smile appeared on her face as she was answering him._

 _"There are times the body can`t take away this dirt on it`s own, sometimes the body needs the help of medicine"_

 _"Don`t we have any medicine to help us, mama?" Levi asked._

 _His mother did not say anything, she let go of his hand and wrapped him in a ragged blanket. She dried Levi off a little bit before pulling him into a tight and secure embrace._

 _"Just you wait one day till we get out of this place and we get to live in a place where it is clean and warm, where we can have a lot of medicine to help the body to wash away the dirt water can`t get off, where we can eat more food and you can lay in a bathtub in warm water"_

 _"Really?" Levi looked up at his mother with wide and intrigued eyes._

 _"Yes, really. One day the two of us will get out of this life somehow"_

 _With Levi in her arms, she got up and went towards the one bed in this place they were living. She put Levi down on the bed and wrapped him up with the blanket on the bed. He just had to sleep with the ragged drying blanket around him tonight, his mother did not have any other clothing to dress him up with at the moment. Maybe after tonight`s work she would have gotten any money to get him some clothes. With a kiss on his forehead, she got up and went towards the door._

 _"Good night, my darling. Mama will be back when you wake up"_

 _After what his mother said, Levi found it easier to fall asleep tonight. The thought of getting out of here and live a life where it was clean and warm made him feel a bit safer. Before falling asleep, Levi noticed the rats on the floor squeaking._

 _"One day I will never have to see those icky animals anymore, mama and I will get out of here someday" He whispered to himself._

"

The silence were not to handle anymore soon, Hanji felt as if she was going crazy. But she did not dare to make any sounds as she saw Levi. She was now scrubbing his neck and he had his chin up like a cat being petted with a look completely gone somewhere else. His eyes looked so sad, as he was longing after something out of reach. Hanji did not know how long she had been scrubbing his neck, but if he kept his chin up like that, he would probably get a kink.

"Levi?" She called his name in a normal volume of sound, but after this long time of silence it sounded so loud.

Levi left his lost gaze and looked at Hanji and then slowly bended his head back down. This sad look did not leave him, he was looking at her with those eyes.

Hanji was not sure what to say, she could not find the words. Levi bend his body towards Hanji and put his head to the crook of her neck. Not only was Hanji now out of words, she was also out of anything. She did not dare to move to either gently pull him off her or slowly hug him, but that did not matter, something caught her off guard: She felt a small amount of warm water glide down her back.

At first she thought it was water dripping from Levi`s hair, but this water gliding down her back was warmer than the bathwater was now... Almost automatically, without even thinking what she was doing, Hanji slowly wrapped her arms around Levi.

"You will never be able to wash like me and I can be the master of doing it, but there are things no one can ever wash away."


End file.
